The Family Financial Legacy: Actively Training your Kids about Money

 


I recently heard a friend describe what she had learned about love and struggles. She described a wonderful 40-year marriage that started with a few bumps when it came to finances. She and her husband had to learn how to communicate and use money together, because they came from vastly different family backgrounds. She grew up in a family that would save and plan for trips and vacations, always looking for cost-saving opportunities. He, on the other hand, grew up in a family that would say at 5 p.m. on a Friday, “Let’s go camping!” and by 9 p.m., they would be out at a campsite—no planning, no thought to the cost, just enjoying their time. Read more about Getting on the Same Page for Money Conversation here.

We all come from different financial backgrounds, and we learn a lot about money by watching our parents. As another friend reminded me recently, “More is caught than taught.” Have you thought about what you are teaching your children or grandchildren by your actions? What are the emotions you are expressing around money? Are you attempting to hide what is happening with your finances? Do you keep going into debt so the kids will have everything they want?

These are tough questions, but they open the door to an important realization: we can change the conversation. We have the power to move from simply passing on our habits to actively training our children in financial wisdom. It’s a way to ensure our toil and wisdom are not vanity, but a lasting legacy.

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Ecclesiastes 2:18 & 19 "I hated all my toil in which I toil under the sun, seeing that I must leave it to the man who will come after me, and who knows whether he will be wise or a fool? Yet he will be master of all for which I toiled and used my wisdom under the sun. This also is vanity.”


So, how can we actively change our focus and start building a positive financial foundation for our children? It starts with intentionality and transparency.

One of the simplest and most effective ways to begin is by using the give, save, spend method. When a child receives money—whether it's an allowance or a birthday gift—help them divide it into three categories:

  • Give: Set aside a portion to give to a charity, their church, or someone in need. This teaches generosity and empathy.

  • Save: Designate a portion for long-term goals, like a new toy, a video game, or even a future car. This teaches patience and delayed gratification.

  • Spend: Allow them to use a portion on something they want right now. This teaches them to make conscious choices and manage their own money.

Beyond that, you can open up a dialogue by making money a regular topic of conversation—not a source of stress or secrecy.

  • Start a weekly or monthly family money meeting. This can be a simple check-in to discuss the budget, upcoming expenses, and financial goals. It demystifies the process and makes children feel included.

  • Include kids in budgeting for a fun family trip. Give them a set amount of money and let them make decisions about what to spend it on, like souvenirs or activities. This makes budgeting a hands-on, positive experience.

  • Openly discuss the difference between "needs" and "wants." This helps them understand conscious spending and prioritize what is truly important.

By making money a regular topic of conversation—not a source of stress or secrecy—we can positively train up our children and equip them with the wisdom they’ll need to thrive.

Some great resources for training up your kids are:

Let's talk about ways to put this into practice in your home. Schedule a call today.

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