Financial Coaching for Kingdom Men

  Why Christian Men Become Passive or Controlling With Money Most Christian men do not set out to be passive with money. They also do not usually set out to become controlling. But when financial stress grows, debt piles up, the budget keeps failing, or money conversations keep turning into conflict, men often drift toward one of those two extremes. Some men check out. Other men clamp down. Neither one leads to peace. Biblical financial leadership requires more than a spreadsheet. It requires humility, self-control, honesty, and a willingness to examine what is happening in your own heart. Why Men Become Controlling With Money Control is often a counterfeit version of leadership. A man may think he is being responsible, but underneath the surface he may be driven by fear, stress, shame, pride, or past financial pain. Maybe he is afraid there will not be enough. Maybe debt pressure has made him feel desperate. Maybe he grew up in a home where money was chaotic, so now he tries to co...

How Christian Men Can Lead the Family Budget Without Being Controlling Many Christian men feel a real tension when it comes to leading their homes financially. They know they should not be passive. They should not ignore the budget, avoid hard conversations, leave all the financial pressure on their wife, or only show up when there is a crisis. But they also do not want to become harsh, controlling, demanding, or make their wife feel like she has no voice. So they get stuck. They do not want to abdicate responsibility, but they also do not want to dominate. The good news is this: you do not have to choose between passivity and control. Biblical financial leadership is humble, clear, responsible, and loving. The False Choice: Passive or Controlling A lot of men think there are only two options. Either they stay out of the finances to avoid tension, or they take over and control every decision. But both options create problems. Passive financial leadership looks like avoiding the budget,...

  Most money problems in marriage are not actually money problems. They are communication problems. Couples may argue about spending, saving, debt, bills, budgeting, or financial priorities, but money is often only the battleground. Underneath the disagreement are deeper issues like expectations, priorities, trust, leadership, and communication. One spouse says, “Why did you buy that?” The other says, “We can’t afford that right now.” Then come the familiar lines: “You never tell me before spending money.” “We’ve talked about this before.” “I thought we were trying to save.” “I didn’t know that bill was due.” Most couples are not really fighting about dollars. They are fighting because they are not financially aligned. And for Christian husbands, this matters. Financial unity does not happen because two people think exactly alike. It happens when a husband leads with humility, communication, and biblical stewardship while helping his family move toward shared goals. The goal is not...

We’ve all heard the phrase, "It's the thought that counts." And while that's certainly true in many aspects of life, for some, the act of receiving a gift isn't just a bonus – it's a primary way they feel loved, valued, and seen. This is the essence of the "Receiving Gifts" love language, one of the five identified by Gary Chapman. Visit 5lovelanguages.com for more information. If your spouse, friend, child, or even a client has this as their dominant love language, understanding it can transform your relationships and make your efforts at showing appreciation truly hit home.   I’m researching and writing this blog mostly for me, and thought that maybe you could find it helpful.  I want to make sure that my wife feels loved and sometimes I struggle to speak her language.  If you are like me, it’s good to take a moment and consider this information and put a plan together to put it into practice.     It's Not About the Price Tag Let’s clear up a...

A couple years ago, when I was in high school, I played tennis.  Ok, Ok, it was actually a few decades ago.  Playing singles tennis was fun.  If the ball came over the net, it was up to me to return it.  Run up to the net or back to the base line, it was all up to me.  When I played doubles it was a different story, the boundaries were bigger.  I had to pay attention and not run into my partner or worse hit them with my racket or the ball.  One of the fun things to do though was hit the ball right between the partners playing on the other side of the net.  Many times neither one would hit the ball, even though it would be easy for either one to hit it expecting the other would either get the ball or wouldn’t want to hurt the partner.  We called it the “Hubby Wife Area” lack of communication was a real issue.   This simple game of tennis reveals a profound truth about relationships. When it comes to a couple’s finances, that same lac...